Six(teen) months down
And every morning
As I drive into the sunrise –
I see You.
Rear view.
I go from house to house
And in between the cracks
Of 1950’s bath tiles
Like memory gathering mildew –
It’s a glimpse of You.
Too much of this
And too little of that
And no time
(Nothing but time).
The sadness in the voices
Of all the little old ladies
(And all the not so little, not so old);
It’s aching in my bones
And numbing all the voices in my head.
And I get it now.
As long as we stay busy
We’re okay.
(We’re not okay).
∼⁄∼
Dear beautiful readers,
I don’t know where to begin. Should I apologise for my inexcusable absence? Promise to do better on the return run? Quit before the next false start?
But who would I be convincing?
You, my beautiful readers, deserve more credit than that. So I’ll just make a list:
Things that have happened since I last blogged
- I became Certified to Care, fell horribly sick, got a job caring for the aged in their own homes, fell horribly sick again, survived the winter and have now made it to almost a year in (not really) part-time employ.
- I learned to channel my “inner granny” by getting up at 5am, falling asleep before 9pm, and listening to Clare Bowditch on ABC Radio.
- True to my possum friend’s omen, I moved to a new house. With space. And light. And floor tiles that need cleaning. All. The. Time.
- My partner and I travelled to India, a place of “no rrrules”, according to our delightfully well humoured driver (pictured above).
- I didn’t get sick in the land of no rules.
- Courtney Barnett became the next big thing.
- Apple stopped supporting my operating system.
- Google stopped supporting my internet browser.
- iTunes backup stopped supporting my iPhone.
- My parents learned how to use an iPad (what???).
- Blogging became irrelevant (what???).
- I developed an ice chewing addiction (the cube, not the drug).
- My doctor asked if I’m depressed.
- The gorgeous Adriana introduced me to Intuitive Yoga.
- I listened to my sister (what???) and read “Dying to be Me” by Anita Moorjani. No words, except, Read It.
And that about brings us up-to-date!
The most important thing I have to say is this:
I MISS YOU. And to all those precious souls who came by to visit, to check on my well-being, to gently kick my (frustrated) writer’s ass…I appreciate you more than you will ever know.
With luck, you might see me around from time to time, but I won’t be making empty promises. Let’s just say, you’re in my sights.
What’s in your rear view?
Alarna Rose Gray 
So nice to hear from you Alarna. Sorry you’ve been sick. Yoga is awesome. India sounds perfect for you. Enjoy!
Hey Catherine, thanks so much for saying hi! I’ve always enjoyed yoga and this takes it to a whole new level. My best to you.
I was so happy to see a blog post from you. I’ve thought of you often. Sent you an e-card but it must not have reached you. I’m sorry you’ve been sick and have dealt with so much. Your poem is beautiful. My problem is that time goes by way too fast and I’m constantly struggling to keep up with everything. My blogging has been inconsistent. I plan to change that this summer after I finish a course to become a master certified health coach. So wonderful to hear from you, Alarna. XO
Master Health Coach – go you, Lynn! So lovely to see your smiling face and I’m very sorry – I didn’t receive your e-card, else I would certainly have replied! Life does go by too fast and I’m not sure it is possible to keep up. So, in the spirit of this post, I can only say, do what feels right & let the rest wait it’s turn. You’re much loved, no matter what. Thanks so much for your kind words, despite my prolonged absence xox
Hello, my old (not as in granny old) friend! I did a double take when I saw your post and it immediately brought a smile to my face before I read it. How nice to get an update from you. So sorry you have been ill! I am glad to read that you are doing better and adjusting to all the newness in your life. New is good and part of growth, right? I haven’t been blogging much either but I’m on here today trying to catch up with folks. Glad I checked in. Stay well! 🙂
Delighted to see you, my faithful young friend 😉 I fear I’ve been a very bad old friend, but I’m glad the sight of me still brings a smile 🙂 Change is Great! I didn’t bargain on so much of it at once, but now that it’s here I’m very thankful. Now it’s about bringing old and new together again. Lots of love and hugs to you xo
You really should apologise for your inexcusable absence — except you were never absent. You were Being your self, Living your truth, and Being the love that you are.
Going wild. Quietly.
It’s so nice to hear your voice again. Now go write a wonderfully terrible, stupendously horrible, terrifically blunderful story — or live it, as you have been. (Or both, Alarna, do both!)
Dearest Mr Pants! Damn, I hoped you wouldn’t notice that clever way I slipped in the perfect out clause for all my bad…You got me!
Oops, that went a bit too soon…these iPhones! But Mr Pants, what you don’t know is that you are responsible for this post as it was first written many months ago after a certain person sent a very obscure email 😉 I guess the fact it is now posted is a little conscious step in the direction of Both. Thank you for being here and for keeping me honest!
I was thinking about you just this week (not that I haven’t thought of you before!) when reading my old emails and came across some from you! Always love reading the latest update, however varied the timing might be!
Looking forward to the next installment! Hope you stay well! Keep in touch – would love to see you!
I’m delighted that you thought of me at all! Thank you for your kind and unexpected words…I hope it won’t be so long between posts next time 🙂 My best to you.
Nice to hear from you after such a long time, Alarna! And hope you had an amazing time in India! Would love to hear about what you did there and how you liked the experience.
Take care! 🙂
Thanks so much Sumithra, how lovely to see you! I immediately wonder what exotic corner of the globe you are traversing now, or is there little time amidst the studies? India was fabulous and mind blowing and confronting and many things. I’ll have to find a way to put that into words. Or a post 🙂 I hope life treats you well.
Looking forward to read the post! Graduate school is so much more demanding than I expected it to be, but I do squeeze some time out to explore occasionally. Can’t wait to graduate!
Welcome back!
Ah, Nina! What a gem you are for coming and saying that. I will be back…and that IS a promise 🙂
Alarna so happy to see you back. I get it, life gets in the way of our creative path sometimes. I am struggling to keep up the blogging, not that I don’t enjoy it. Im struggling with time, and so I just blog when I can. I look forward to reading more from you soon.
Hey there Kath, thank you for ‘getting it’! From what I’ve seen on the rare occasions I visit Facebook, you are still keeping up the artwork, which is fabulous…and in keeping with minuscule moments 🙂 Lovely to hear from you.
Thanks Alarna, the art helps me stay sane. The blogging has slowed but Im still here.
Well, we missed you too! You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about you. Sounds like you’ve lived on a rollercoaster over the past year. It’s such a challenge to keep a routine, a job, or good health. And I totally understand. So thank you for posting this. I was beginning to worry girl. Just keep in touch every once in a while. We love hearing from you. And if you need some cheering up, you know how to reach me. ((Hugs)) 🙂
Hey there Karen, you are precious! I’m sorry to have worried you…it just seemed impossible to summon the energy, frankly. And yesterday I found out I am anaemic, so that probably has something to do with it. Now I’m on a mission to eat more greens! Thank you for already cheering me up! It won’t be so long next time 🙂 Big *hugs* xo
I’ve been thinking a lot about you Alarna, in fact, every time I see your book on my shelve which happen often!
I’m so happy to hear from you.
I have been absent from the blogging world too in the past year and just trying to get back into writing slowly again.
I would love to read posts from you but totally understand that life gets in the way… All the best to you in all your projects!
Dear Rita, I’ve thought of you often and I feel so bad! Life got so hectic since we caught up and, of course, you’re a new mum now which would most certainly be keeping you busy, too. So happy to see your message here and my sincere apologies for not being in touch. I hope you are doing well and enjoying life with your gorgeous daughter…may we both find the right balance, hey? Xo
Alarna! Sounds like you have lived a lot over these past months…how long has it been? I’m finding it harder and harder to keep up with other blogs, let alone write my own posts while working on my fourth book. Hope to hear more from you! xo
Hey there Britt, so lovely of you to come by. Part of my delay has been because of guilt about not keeping up with other blogs either. And after so long (sixteen months, almost!) it’s where to begin first?? So no judgment ever from this blog…Glad to hear you are going strong with the writing. That’s the hardest thing so kudos to you! See you soon 😉 Take care xo
Fantastic to hear, to read and to explore!
Missed this the first go, and it’s been a bit, but hope all is well for you.
How’s that rearview?
Come back. I miss you,
Where are you?
Argh… I’m stuck in some alternate universe. I miss you (and me), too… 😢