Unleashing Your Inner Rock Chick

Australia is obsessed with The Voice at the moment, even though I think most of us were ‘no way gonna watch another damn reality talent show’.  I know it wasn’t just me – singer-songwriter Kate Miller-Heidke summed it all up in her send up of Australian Idol, ‘Career Advice‘.

Anyway, the first replay of the first episode caught me off guard, on account of the fact that the judges didn’t get to see the contestants.  Of course, that would appeal to me – it’s kind of like the difference between blogging and pitching for writers 🙂

The stand out is Karise Eden, who has the voice of a 40-something at the age of 19, complete with a hard-luck story to melt the most cynical of hearts.  As Seal, one of the judges, put it: “Your 50% is like everyone else’s 80%”.  All I can say is – she better win.

For me, singing is probably the highest form of art – especially singer-songwriting.  It is that sublime meld between writing and performance that gets me every time.

I was trying to explain to my brother on the phone one day how I would have liked to be a singer in an alternate universe.

“Oh yeah,” he said, “I know who you would’ve been – who’s that chick who sings and plays the piano…that’s right, Norah Jones.”

Now – nothing against Norah Jones – I have full respect for her musical talent.  But, bro, did you miss the four years of my life when I was whining about how much I hated piano lessons?

I was going for alternate universe…the kind us introverts can only fantasize about (yes, I’m talking to you…don’t think I haven’t seen you lurking here…).

I went searching for an example of who my Ultimate Alternate would be.  I typed in to Google:  Sexy Rock Chick.

Apart from all the porn sites that came up, there were a few results:


Hmmm, maybe before she was a pop star.

Gwen Stefani.

Love her stuff, but way too blonde.

Joan Jett.

Not my era.  I mean – mullet, people, Mullet!

There were a whole bunch of others, but none seemed to fit the bill.

Then I remembered a movie I had randomly watched back in the 90’s, when I was living alone with Pepi, huddled in front of the bar heater…

Bandits, a German movie about a prison girl band whose members escape jail and somehow manage to make it on the world stage.

That’s it!  I thought.  But when I found the video, it was so NOT what I had in mind at all.  It was like Eurovision’s idea of bad chicks…way too clean.

I was coming up with nothing, and then I realized my Ultimate Alternate was not a singer at all.  Aww, but imagine if she WAS one?!

Lisbeth Salander in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

It was so perfect.  I mean, she’s an introvert, who totally kicks ass, who – in an Alternate Universe (I’m pretty sure) – really would be a Sexy Rock Chick!

If you ask me, the whole Alternate fantasy is all about control.  And the desire to either have it, let go of it, or – better still – have BOTH at once!

I’ve only ever raised my voice at someone twice.  Both times involved copious amounts of alcohol.  And the words all came out slurred, which sort of defeated the purpose.

So, given that I can’t be a Lisbeth Salander SRC, I’m forced to resort to blogging…sigh…But, actually, I’m having a blast 🙂

The great thing about a good Alternate is that they connect us with that inner source of who we are.  The tricky part is how to get it out there.

It’s like Seal said – “You already have The Voice – it’s a question of what you’re going to do with it”.

So I’m dying to know.  Who’s your Alternate?  How do you unleash it in the here and now?


  1. lynnkelleyauthor says

    I can’t sing either, and it’s something my alternate universe self would love to do. Considering how much I love crazy costumes, I’d probably be a mix of Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. Or not! I don’t know, but this is such a fun post and your blog totally rocks, Alarna! You have such a natural writer’s voice. Awesome blogger chick!

    • says

      Thanks so much, Lynn. I’m glad you enjoyed the read – I had lots of fun writing it. As for your alternate, anyone who can dress up in a skeleton costume and take their pet brain for a walk can definitely channel Lady Gaga! I’d love to see that 🙂

  2. Coleen Patrick says

    Can’t sing–but used to love to write lyrics when I was a teenager! I should drag that out for the fun of it 🙂
    My alternate? It would have to be someone VERY outgoing and spotlight loving!

    • says

      Glad to see I’m not the only one who can’t sing 🙂 You should definitely bring out those teenage lyrics – that’s a whole post right there (and I’m sure your teenagers would enjoy that, too)!

  3. liz says

    I’m pretty sure that if we met, we’d seriously click. You’re like a blogging kindred spirit, from your singer-songwriter dreams (I am one too, in my dreams. my wife actually has the talent. Grrr.) to your desire to be a SRC (Oh yeah, I wanna be bad ass. And Lisbeth Salander IS the perfect SRC) to your introverted-ness. Yes, blogging has become the place where I let my voice be heard… my little space in the universe where I am totally me. Keep blogging, chick! I love how you write.

    • says

      Hey Liz 🙂 So thrilled so see you here! I knew there had to be someone else out there who harboured these fantasies…it’s what makes this blogging thing such a blast! And at least you get to admire the talent of the other half, right? 😉 Thanks for the encouragement – right back at ya!

  4. says

    I’d like to think that in a parallel universe, someone who’s exactly like me, can belt out like a diva and kick ass just the same. Haha! :p

  5. says

    “The great thing about a good Alternate is that they connect us with that inner source of who we are. The tricky part is how to get it out there. ” – err, you’re talking about blogging here, huh? 😉 hello, Alarna!

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