Here I am, one week out chanting my ‘Change is good’ mantra, and you ask – how’s that working for you?
Suddenly there’s a sound like a record needle scratching out my flow…
Okay. So this is what change is really like.
I decided to start my weekend off with my first ever three day detox diet, in the hope of a good energy kick for the impending job hunt.
The inspiration came from fellow Aussie blogger, Melly Williams, herself a shining example of good health and fitness. The recipes in themselves were great – especially the chia seed dessert – so simple, filling and yum.
But after a day of no carbs (except the few I added for necessity), as my stomach lining started turning on itself and I started feeling all lightheaded – I realised something.
If you already look like a borderline famine victim – maybe detox is not the thing you need?
Maybe – here’s a thought – maybe what you really need is to Eat. More. Food!
So, one failed detox later, I’m sitting at my computer clicking job ads.
I’m not sure if the slightly sick feeling is from the detox or the job hunt. But as I click on one job after another, I feel my determined ‘can do’ face slide into a familiar queasy mope.
There are certain key words that keep repeating themselves…
“Vibrant, outgoing personality.”
“Ability to multitask.”
No. I’ve been down that road before. It never ends well.
I quit searching the Administration section and decide maybe Customer Service is the way to go after all.
I manage to find two jobs that require “listening skills” and “attention to detail”, wade through the lengthy online application form, multiple choice questionnaire and the resume upload. Oh, that’s right. Cover Letter.
How many ways can you say you’re eager, keen, delighted…goddamn desperate for a job?
The letter ends with something about being an asset to the team. I finally upload and submit. Phew. A good day’s work in there already.
Several days later, and I’m at it again – I notice the two jobs I applied for have already readvertised. Hmmm. Guess I need to work on my pitch.
This is usually the part where I curse the day I ever enrolled in that Bachelor of Arts. Why didn’t I choose law? Or counselling? Or teaching, even – I could have been a good teacher.
At least I thought so, until I read fellow job hunter Anna Fonté’s post about the realities of teaching. No. I definitely could not have done that.
But why did I always choose meaningful over skilled?
There’s no answer to that question. Except that was what I needed to do. And now, here I am. I’m exactly where I need to be. Right now.
If you’ve ever doubted that, or need some reassurance about the direction that you’re heading in, read Nina Badzin’s post, on her journey towards the right path.
There’s something so very practical, and encouraging about her story of becoming a blogger and freelance writer. She reminds me when I need to hear it most – that nothing is ever wasted.
Change is not going to be easy. It never is. And so I tell myself.
Is there any change you’re finding challenging this year? What gets you through?