Road Map

Since my last post, when I discovered no one else wants to go to Mars, I’ve been pondering the source of this ever present need for escape.

You’d think a wholesome upbringing in the country, with home grown vegies and hand made saw mills, might have set me straight.

But maybe I forgot to mention the part where my family was less garden-variety-hippie and more monogamous-Juniper-Creek-meets-Nostradamus freaky.

Growing up, the future my father had mapped out for me was one that would assuredly end.

391px-Leonids-1833

1833 meteorite shower – A Great Disappointment

The Truth, according to Dad, was that the world should have imploded back in 1844 (or was it 1833?) after the sky fell in somewhere over North America. So now we were literally on borrowed time. A fact, I felt strongly, that he resented on account of having hungry mouths to feed.

As for Y2K. Pfft. We’d be long gone by then.

In eighth grade, we moved interstate. My new English teacher set us an assignment. We had to draw a timeline of the future.

Mine went something like this.

Someone clever would invent an electronic device that would replace our windscreens. So when we drove around, we’d be looking at dots on a moving map, instead of cars on a road.

Road Map to Future

Then, sometime before the Year 2000, the world would end. And we’d all go to heaven and watch the evil undead burn for a thousand years before we made it back to earth for a fresh start.

After I handed in the graphically illustrated project, my teacher came up to me, “Do you really believe all that?”

“Yes.” I said, without a blink. I didn’t understand then why she walked away looking mentally disturbed.

After that, she kept offering to take me on her family outings. I think she was trying to get me away from my parents. But alas, we moved states again and that was that. I never did get my assignment back.

Year 2000 came and went.

With it, this feeling, like you’re standing in a silent, unfamiliar universe, wondering what comes next.

You wouldn’t think so, but there’s something freeing about that space.

Dreams don’t always work out. It’s not the end of the world (unless that was your dream, and then yeah, that kinda sucks).

But moving on to the more positive spin. It’s a chance to start over. Again.

HeavenWTF

On those days when I feel like my life’s an epic failure, I think about the Year 2000.

Next to an apocalypse, somehow it doesn’t really seem to matter quite so much. What matters is what’s left – and that is You.

No road map. No future. Just You at the end of the earth.

You could do nothing. But, then again, you could do anything, as well. It could be heaven, if you wanted it to be. What have you got to lose?

Where’s your road map taking you? Does it have a reset button?

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Credit for images is as follows:

‘Flaming gold’ by Paloetic
‘Earth horizon’ by DonkeyHotey

Fast Forward to the Fifties

So it’s official. Australia is returning to the 1950’s freakin’ dark ages.

Remember this guy from my post a few weeks back?

Ditch WitchThe guy who happily stood in front of the “Ditch the Witch…Bob Brown’s Bitch” banner, and then said Julia Gillard was being “too precious”?

Yep. It obviously struck a chord with my fellow country-folk, because he’s our new Prime Minister as of last weekend!

With Tony Abbott at the helm, this is what we have to look forward to:

Foreign AidNo more charity (but better roads)

Courtesy of our mining boom, we weathered the global financial crisis better than any country on the globe. Now we’re apparently too rich to help out anyone in need.

Stop Boats

No more refugees

We’re so rich we can now afford to buy up all of Indonesia’s leaky boats before the people smugglers get to them. Innovative new plan to →

No more climate change

Climate Tax

Since Abbot believes climate change is just a load of “crap”, there’s no more need for any kind of forward environmental planning.

More ironing for housewives

In the world according to Abbot, women have less physiological aptitude for leadership, and abortion is just ‘the easy way out’. So we can soon expect a return to this…

Laundry

Yay……………………………………….

Help.

Anyone?

I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to get back to the…

Future

1.  Volunteer for Mars.

If my head hadn’t been buried in the video project that will never end, maybe I would have heard about it before the applications closed.

2.  Become a refugee.

The other day my hairdresser told me about a backpacker who overstayed her Visa.  She escaped on an Indonesian boat and is now happily posting Facebook updates from Nepal! I’m all up with the squatting toilet now, so this is sounding good. One small problem: They’re stopping all the boats!

3.  Become a hippie.

The same hairdresser asked me if I want to join her setting up a commune. All I need is $100,000. Sigh. Apparently it costs money to drop out of society, these days.

4.  Wash it all down with Martini and write this blog.

The 50’s were good for something, at least.

Martini

”Cause we’re all doomed, even if we’re livin’ on the moon…’

~ Brett Amaker  & the Rodeo

If someone offered you a ticket, would you move to Mars?