This week, while the rest of the world was preoccupied with disappearing planes and world heritage de-listings, Ms and I were having our own little social crisis.
Early Saturday morning, we drag ourselves out of bed to prepare lunch for the ever reliable Zoe.
Ms, in a magnanimous attempt to be casual, had invited her over the night before, after hearing that Zoe was:
- Suffering post-holiday depression (sad face) 😦
- Had no plans, except to do her laundry (sad face) 😦
“Oh, I’d LOVE to come!” beamed Zoe (happy face) 😀
This is not the first time she’s been invited. No. Third time lucky, we both agree that if she didn’t have plans already in place the night before, there had to be a good chance she would actually show up. Right?
“Come any time after 11am…” says Ms, with a flippant wave of her hand.
At 12.20pm, just as I’m putting the leek and cauliflower puffs in the oven, Ms gets a text:
“Nate’s woken with manflu..what a catastrophe!!im looking after him and not sure if im able to get away in time..I really want to come down…any chance we can reschedule for tomorrow? Let me know, phone about to go flat. Love Nurse Zoe”.
“What the heck is man flu?” pouts the unsuspecting Ms, as I explain the concept of a wildy exaggerated cold. Or, as the Man Flu site describes it:
Man Flu: A crippling and debilitating disorder indiscriminately striking down male members of the human species without warning.
“That’s not a thing!” declares Ms.
But, apparently, it is a thing.
If you believe the study, “high levels of testosterone can weaken immune response”.
Meaning, men suffer from the common cold far worse than women.
I interrupt Ms’ reminiscence about the good old days – before mobile phones and man flu, when people took their social engagements seriously…
“To be fair, if you’re going to act all cool about it, then she probably expects you to, you know, go with the flow…” says I, the least spontaneous person in the room.
Ms grudgingly agrees to reschedule for tomorrow, and the weekend proceeds as follows:
- Afternoon tea with Ms’ mother, wherein social mores of Gen Y are rigorously dissected.
- Night crashed out in front of the TV (no more word from Zoe).
- Sunday morning sleep in (at least the food’s already cooked).
- 2.30pm – “Can we eat puffs yet or not?” (still no word from Zoe).
- Dinner – leftovers from lunch. “Do you think I’m old, and this is just how people do things now?” (still no word from Zoe).
On Monday, lunchtime, I get a text from Ms:
“Zoe at work but no word on the wkend so far…!”
She did quietly leave a Bounty on Ms’ desk, though. Which leaves us with the unresolved dilemma as to what is an acceptable apology for being a no-show.
What do you think? Is it hopelessly old school to expect people to show up when they say they will? Is man flu a fair excuse for ditching on your mates?
Alarna Rose Gray 
Am I first comment? BOOM. I’m good today!! OR I have no life and am not spending the day editing like I should….shhhhh
Man flu is a real thing, but I don’t buy that it’s because of their immune systems or any other craziness. They just need to be babies every once and a while.
You are that good! (Shhh…there is no should 😉 ). But who doesn’t need to be a baby now and then?
I don’t have time for people like that. It feels like some kind of weird psychological game where no one is telling the truth and no one knows how anyone feels. No fun at all. I’d check her off the list of people I can get close to and move on.
Especially when this all started because said invitee had ‘never been invited to anyone’s house since they moved to Melbourne {sad face}’. I guess now we know why…
No ‘sorry’ for not showing up?! That’s a no no! So next time invite her and cancel at the last minute & leave the house just in case. 😉
Haha, yes, the thought may have crossed my mind 😉
WhatEVER. When my man goes down with the man flu, I drug him up on Nyquil and leave his ass in bed.
Now that’s what I’m talking about! 🙂
I do feel old about the way people do things now. I find all sorts of things mysterious. I don’t know why we’re mean to each other, I don’t know why we put up with articles in magazines telling us to dump people who are going through a difficult time, I don’t know why we’re encouraged to be cruel to each other.
I’ve been thinking about this for awhile.
Kudos to you and Ms. for wanting to find a way to be kind.
To be fair to Zoe, she’s a lovely chick and I think in some fantasy reality she really does want to visit and soak up some sea air. But she just can’t get her s*#t together to make it happen! I agree with you, though, there’s a fine line between not taking on other people’s issues, and being outright mean. A symptom of the selfish world we live in….
I can’t imagine anyone not bending over backwards to spend time with you Alarna!! Blow that shit off, let it go & move one! You deserve better baby!! You used the word “Excuse” and friends shouldn’t make excuses for hurting each other. I could see if it was a one time thing. But clearly this girl’s a repeat offender. Which means she searches for excuses not to spend time with you! What I want to type might not go over well with your other commenters because I think that’s just cruel, plain & simple! As southerners, raised with a mother/nana who’s manners had no varied degrees one can at least be civil. Wish we we’re close by Alarna. Cuz we would’ve thrown a Girls night Movie/ice-cream sleepover & had you long over Zoe & well into a Brad Pitt Marathon! ❤ ❤
You ladies are too sweet for words! Of course, I was a bit hurt by the whole thing, but my solution was to make light of it in this post! Though I’m beginning to think I have instead traumatised the blogosphere on my behalf. So let me assure you, I am no longer hurt – and we both believe her excuses have far less to do with us, and far more her own inability to get it together. Girls night is absolutely a fab idea – can we maybe replace the ice-cream with martini and, ahem, Brad Pitt with Angelina Jolie? And then we’ll be in heaven 😉
I’m old fashioned – I believe in good manners and honouring your commitments, keeping your word, ect ect… boring I know…
Ha! We can be boring together, in that case, Valerie 🙂
Your friend is full of crap. Contrary to popular belief, most men prefer to be left alone when they’re sick. What a stupid excuse to cover for the fact that she just didn’t feel like going out.
If ever I make it to your neck of the woods, I’ll make it to dinner even IF I have a vicious case of the man-flu!
Ah, I’ve been waiting for the male contingent to chime in! And there we have it, right from the source of all the trouble! Can I use this as future amunition? 😉
A hearty soup with plenty of chilli, ginger and garlic on the menu for you, in that case!
While I do think men don’t handle the common cold as well as women, that also means they fall into bed and pass out for the day. In other words, your friend didn’t really have to be there taking care of him because most likely he was sleeping the whole time. She probably didn’t feel like going out and made up an excuse. If I lived closer, I would have been happy to take her place. 🙂
And you would have been more than welcome! In fact, the way this is shaping up, we could have had a cosy little blog party, and this would be an altogether different post 🙂
Oh that was a sad old excuse to not show up. I’m sure men suffer terribly with their man-flu but I am also sure Zoe could have left him alone for a little while. I was left alone at home with the flu when I was 14 and Mum had to go to work!
There you go – if a child can do it, what more a man! Although permit me to feel a little sorry for you, home alone at 14. At least if that’s going to happen, you don’t want to have the flu, right? 🙂
I don’t really get colds — does this mean I lack virility? If so, it is a worthwhile tradeoff, in my mind, for never getting sick, which is awesome. I love having a healthy body and I hope never to take it for granted.
I’m not sure I’d read too much into that 😉 If I understand the ‘science?’ on that, testosterone doesn’t make you more or less susceptible to getting colds. Just makes you have a lousy time when you do get them. So whatever it is you’re doing – keep doing it! 🙂
No excuse for not calling to say she can’t make it for whatever reason. I hate it when I’m expecting someone and they don’t show up. When my hubby gets the flu, he gets super duper sick, like he’s dying, but he takes care of himself. Mainly sleeps it off, snoozing between the coughs. You were more patient than I would have been. Should have eaten the goodies right away!
Well, I am impressed with these wonderfully gallant men who take care of themselves when they’re sick! But then, sleeping it off really is the best medicine, so I guess that’s not so hard 😉 Next time (there won’t be a next time) I will not be so patient, I promise 🙂
What! If expecting someone to show up when they say they will is old school, well, I say loud and proudly that I am old school! And,no, man flu is not a good reason to ditch anyone. I’ve got my husband and when he has man flu he’s grown up enough to take care of himself without disturbing the life of everyone around him. With due respect, this kind of people annoy me. It’s as if they expect others to be at their feet any time they want to…
Yeah! A bit of old school indignation is what we need around here 🙂 It wouldn’t normally take me three goes to get wise to this kind of thing, but there were exceptions. Not anymore! I’m glad to hear there are some grown up men out there, though. Sounds like you got a good one 🙂
I don’t know about the man flu, but do have a relative that does the cough and cancel phone call instead of showing up as they said they would. Not a nice feeling. Their loss though. Especially when there’s treasures such as leek and cauliflower puffs. Those sound good!
“Cough-and-cancel phone call”! Lol. I love that… Well, that’s right. Their loss entirely. The puffs are pretty yum, and we were happy to eat them all in her stead. Might be a future recipe share, maybe… 🙂